Burn as brightly as we can
Jun. 23rd, 2013 04:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tabbys_ficsBurn as brightly as we can
Hockey RPF || Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal || 4944 words
AU where Eric Staal is a firefighter, Jeff Skinner is a college student, and they're working together for a charity hockey game.
A/N: A bit of nonsense written to entertain asimplechord and junebug_waltz one afternoon. Beta'd by asimplechord, all remaining mistakes are mine. Lots of handwaving when it comes to firefighting and charity hockey games (I know how they work in my hometown, but that doesn't mean much for the rest of the world). Title from the lyrics to Dashboard Confessional's Currents.
Eric's sitting in the bay area bouncing a tennis ball off the wall. Jordy kicked him out of the kitchen, claiming he was more of a danger than a help, and the guys are watching some reality show that they're really way too invested in - Eric's pretty sure he heard Cam taking bets on who was going to be eliminated. It's been a quiet shift, really quiet, but Eric isn't going to say that out loud. He's probably tempting fate by just thinking it.
He misses the next bounce and the ball goes over his head. He only hears it hit once against the concrete floor, which is weird, so he turns around to find someone standing behind him, which is even weirder.
He's a kid about Jared's age, maybe a bit younger, in a college hoodie and jeans. Eric wonders if he's about to be asked for an interview for the school paper or something.
"Captain Staal?" The kid tosses the ball back to him and steps closer, holding out a hand. "I'm Jeff Skinner."
The name sounds familiar, and Eric's reminded that he has phone messages he hasn't returned since last shift. "Yeah, hi." He reaches out to shake Jeff's hand. "Sorry I didn't get back to you."
"It's okay," Jeff says with a grin, and wow, he's got dimples that could possibly be dangerous when he really smiles. "Hope you don't mind me just dropping by. My afternoon class got cancelled and Jared said you'd be here."
Jared. Confirms the college theory then. "Sure. What can I do for you?" It sounds like a loaded question and even as it leaves his mouth, Eric is glad Cam or Jordy weren't around to hear it and contribute their unnecessary and inappropriate commentary.
Jeff doesn't pick up on it, though, just shifts on his feet and looks a little nervous. "Well, I need community service hours for school, and Jared said you might need some help with the charity hockey game? He's helping Marc."
That's news to Eric, but he's not surprised. Jared always ended up choosing Marc's side, and this way it made them even. Except not, because Eric and Jordan were by far the superior pair of brothers. "So, what, you want to earn your hours by being our towel boy?" Really, Eric doesn't even know what's coming out of his mouth right now.
Jeff shrugs. "I like hockey. And Jared says you're cool."
Eric has more questions - whether Jeff ever played, what exactly he's looking to do, if there was recorded evidence of Jared admitting his eldest brother was cool - but the alarm sounds and he barely has time to tell Jeff he'll call and work out details before he has to climb into his turnout gear.
The rest of the shift is one call after another - Eric jinxed them by thinking it, he knows better - and Eric falls into bed as soon as he gets home and sleeps away most of the day. He's making a sandwich when his phone rings, and even though it's just a wrong number, it reminds him he's supposed to call Jeff.
It sounds loud where ever Jeff is when he picks up. "Jeff, hey, it's Eric. Staal, from the firehouse. Is this a bad time?"
"Captain Staal!" Eric can hear the smile, and he's way too interested in this kid he doesn't even know. "No, you're good, hang on." There are muffled noises in the background for several seconds and then quiet. "Okay. Hi."
"You could've called me back," Eric says. "If you were busy."
"Nah, you seem to play hard to get, Captain Staal. I don't like my chances of catching you again."
"Call me Eric." And God save him from flirty kids. Eric is too old for this shit. Or, he's too old to be thinking about someone Jared's age and it's been too long since he last got laid.
"Eric," Jeff repeats amiably. "So, you think you can help me out? With my hours, I mean."
"We can find something. I don't know what exactly you're looking to do."
"Oh! Well, Jared said he's, like, helping out the day of the game, so your towel boy comment might not be far off, but I'm taking a media relations class this term, so I was thinking I might be able to help with getting the word out or sponsors or whatever?"
"Sounds good. How are you with organization?" Eric asks. "Because it would help me out a lot if you could coordinate practices."
"I can do that. I'll text you my email and you can send me a list of who's playing and when you're available and whatever."
The next week or so, they communicate regularly by text and email, and if Eric falls into the habit of smiling every time he gets a new message notification, that's his business. Well, except for the fact that he works with a bunch of nosy, smirking assholes, and neither Cam nor Jordan believes him when he says it's just because he's looking forward to the game. It's not entirely a lie; he loves hockey and loves being on the ice, and it's for a great cause. But he's also excited about the way things are falling into place. Jeff apparently has connections, or has already learned to use his looks and charm to his advantage. When he emails out the practice schedule - which is way more organized than anything Eric ever came up with - he's managed to get them great ice times. He also talks a local marketing company into donating t-shirts for them to sell at the event, and has a couple of friends who agree to be in charge of selling them at the game. There are still questions and details to be discussed, but half their exchanges end up being about Jeff's classes or Eric's calls or good-natured complaining about friends.
Eric's really surprised when he gets a text late in the night that says, what are you wearing? It's cheesy and ridiculous and Eric's pretty sure it's not meant for him anyway so he doesn't answer, even though he really wants to give Jeff a hard time about how lame he is. That doesn't stop him from thinking about it, though, even though it's not his business who Jeff is trying to use his awful lines on.
The next morning, he's got another message.
sorry, jared thinks he's funny
And that's an entirely different kind of weird, because Jared is his baby brother and probably does use lines like that because Marc, and why would he send that to Eric anyway?
he's not
yeah, sorry. don't be mad. :(
he thinks i've got a new boyfriend
Eric's not sure if he's reading that right, and doesn't quite know how to take it. and jared didn't realize he was txtng me? were you drinking?
haha, we were drinking and your number doesn't have your name
Eric wants to ask what he's saved as in Jeff's phone, and why, and whether or not Jeff's in the market for a new boyfriend, so he deliberately leaves his phone in his locker for his entire shift. Cam teases him about a lovers spat and Jordan asks if he's out of the honeymoon phase already, and he hates both of them.
They're only having six practices before the charity game, but it should be fine since it's mostly the same group of guys as always, half from Eric's firehouse and half from another, and they all play pickup games together when they can anyway. But the day before the first practice, Eric finds out that somehow Jeff has managed to arrange for lunch after each one - really, Eric's starting to think he might be magic.
Jeff doesn't come to the first practice, and the captain from the other firehouse accuses Eric of trying to hide him. Of course, he also says he'd like to steal "Eric's boy wonder" to coordinate the next charity softball game, and Eric is torn between wanting to protest the idea that Jeff is his and wanting to actually keep Jeff away from Sid. Sid's a good guy, really, and Eric likes him and his guys well enough, especially now that he stole his brother away from them, but that doesn't mean he wants to hand Jeff over to anyone.
Eric hasn't heard from Jeff much since the strange texts. They're still talking, but it feels weird now and Eric's not sure what exactly happened. So he doesn't know why Jeff's not there and shrugs it off when the guys ask about him.
Practice goes well, and he shoots off a text to Jeff after lunch. thx again for doing this, missed you at practice.
The response takes long enough that Eric thinks maybe he crossed a line or something, but finally he gets back, didnt know you wanted me at practice.
And. Well, there isn't a real reason Jeff would have to be there, but Eric isn't the only one who assumed he would be. He deserves some recognition for the work he's putting in, even if it doesn't seem like much, and just because he isn't playing in the game doesn't mean he can't practice with them. They've got a few extras who show up anyway, and it's sometimes helpful to have extra bodies on the ice.
come to the next practice, bring your skates
The next practice rolls around, and Eric is running late, so by the time he gets there, most of the team is already warming up. He thinks Jeff's missing again, and almost turns around to go back to the locker room and text him, but then he hears his laugh and realizes that Jeff's there, on the ice, shooting pucks at and trading insults with Cam. In some part of his mind, he makes note of the fact that Jeff's got good form, obviously knows what he's doing, but Eric's more focused on the way Cam's acting. Cam is pretty much a dick, he spends most of their practice time glaring at his own teammates, and while he has his good points - he's an awesome firefighter, intensely loyal, and the best damn friend Eric's ever had - making nice with new people isn't one of them.
"You're staring."
Eric doesn't jump when Jordan steps up behind him, but it's a near thing. He turns his best big brother glare on Jordan, who doesn't seem phased in the slightest.
"You don't really think Cam and I didn't know it was the kid who was sending you all those messages you were mooning over, did you?"
"I was not mooning over anything!" Eric says. "And who the hell even says 'mooning?' What kind of word is that?"
Jordan pushes past Eric and steps out onto the ice, tossing a smirk back at Eric and reiterating, "Staring!" as he skates away.
Eric takes back all the times he chose Jordan over Marc and Jared. Jordy is clearly the worst brother.
At the end of practice, Kris skates up to Jeff and says, "Are you sure you don't want to be a firefighter? We could use you on our team."
Jordan calls out, "No way! If the kid becomes a firefighter, he's ours!" And he's almost earned a spot back in Eric's favor until he adds, "Eric has dibs."
Everyone laughs as they head to the locker room, but Jeff 's at the back of the pack, watching Eric with a smirk. "You've got dibs, huh?"
"Well, I saw you before Sid and Kris," he says without thinking. "I mean... are you thinking about being a firefighter?"
Jeff makes a face. "No. But, y'know, I heard you guys play sometimes on the weekends. I'd rather be with you than them."
Eric takes a minute to figure out how to respond to that, because as always he has trouble convincing himself that Jeff's not actually meaning to flirt with him. "It's playground pick." He doesn't add, but I'd pick you first, even though that's probably true. Or, well, third, because he needs Cam as his goalie and Jordy whines if he doesn't get picked. Still, Eric's willing to admit to himself he may have a problem when it comes to Jeff.
Of course, things only get worse from there. Jeff's back to texting him on a semi-regular basis, the lead up to the charity game is running smoothly, their practices are going well, none of that is the problem. What is a problem is that Eric's not an only child and has bad taste in friends. Marc and Jared are being ridiculous about the game, drawing on a rivalry that dates all the way back to their childhood. Jordan's giving him a hard time about Jeff every chance he gets, Cam's not much better, and the rest of the guys at the firehouse seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to refer to Jeff as "Eric's boy."
The night before their last practice, Eric has plans to meet his brothers for drinks. There's a bar called Blackhawks that's pretty neutral territory for both the firefighters and the police officers, as well as the occasional college students that wander this far from campus, so that's where they're going. Marc is good at what he does, and normally Eric is proud as hell of his brother, but they've always been competitive so it's nice to have a declared night off from that. Jared tags along because it's brother bonding time, or whatever, plus he's enjoying his last night of fun before cramming for finals.
Eric wants to ask if Jeff's doing the same, but he's pretty sure it'll either make him sound creepy or it'll tip his hand and as soon as he opens his mouth, all three of his brothers will know about the stupid crush he's harboring. Jordan's speculation is bad enough.
Of course, nothing in Eric's life is ever simple, so he's feeling pleasantly buzzed and actually enjoying himself as he and Jordy are playing a game of eight ball against Marc and Jared when he sees Jeff. Jeff's all brilliant smile and rosy cheeks as he leans against the bar, flirting with one of the Patricks.
Eric pretends like he doesn't see, tries not to look to obviously in that direction even though he really wants to keep an eye on Jeff, and hopes no one else notices. Of course, this means that the next time Eric lines up a shot, Jordan says, "Oh, hey, it's Jeff!" and laughs like the jerk he is when Eric sinks the cue ball without hitting anything else.
Jared takes off across the bar and Jordan leans down so Eric can hear him but Marc can't. "Why haven't you asked him out yet? Want me to pass him a note for you?"
Eric resists smacking Jordan with his stick and settles for glaring instead, stepping back to let Marc take his turn. Marc's on a roll, pocketing his last two stripes and then the eight ball to end the game just as Jared comes back with Jeff and two others in tow.
"Hey, guys, this is Jeff, Justin, and Jiri," Jared announces, waving a hand at his friends. "And my brothers, Marc, Jordan, and Eric."
"Oh, Eric!" The one Eric thinks is Jiri is laughing and Eric's not sure why he's suddenly a joke. If Jared's going to talk shit about his brothers, he should do it equally.
The other one - Justin, Eric guesses - is laughing too. "You mean Capt--" The end of his sentence is cut off in a mumble when Jeff sticks his palm over Justin's mouth. The two of them seem to have a brief conversation without words and then Jeff moves his hand, wiping it on Justin's shirt before turning around.
"Hi." He's looking right at Eric, though he's probably addressing all of them. Eric takes in the hint of dimple in his flushed cheeks and the brightness in his eyes and wonders if he looks at everyone this way when he's been drinking.
"Hey." Eric means to at least acknowledge the other two, but he's stuck on Jeff.
Beside him, Jordan laughs even more, shaking his head. "Do you two play hockey? We could use a couple extras tomorrow for practice, trying to scrimmage."
"We're going to be hungover as fuck tomorrow, Jordy," Jared says.
"You weren't invited, traitor." Jordan points the neck of his beer bottle at Jared. "I was asking Jeff's friends, because Jeff is already on our side. And it's your turn to buy a round."
Jared grumbles but heads back to the bar, and the conversation turns to hockey in general. Jeff stands too close to Eric while they're waiting on Jared to get back, and when they move to a table, Eric ends up with Jeff pressed against him. Jeff's a happy, open, touchy-feely drunk, which doesn't surprise Eric at all, and he laughs at all of Eric's stories, even the ones he knows are stupid, but Eric figures he can have this. He's just past tipsy, but he lets himself use the alcohol as an excuse to enjoy the feeling.
When they decide to call it a night, Eric gets waylaid by Brent, one of the bar owners, on his way to the door. He figures everyone else is already gone by the time he pushes his way out into the cool air, but Jeff's standing against the wall.
"Thought you were going back to campus with Jared?"
Jeff shrugs. "Went to take a piss and they left me. Your brother's a shitty friend." The way he's smiling when he says it means he doesn't think it's true.
"Yeah, well, he's a shitty brother too," Eric says. "Want to share a cab?"
Jeff bites his lip and Eric doesn't even pretend his gaze isn't focused there. "I think I'm out of your way."
"Or," and Eric doesn't know why he's offering this, "you can just come crash at mine? We're going the same place in the morning anyway." It is such a bad idea, but it's out there now and Eric can't take it back.
"Really?" Jeff's eyes are impossibly brighter than before. "Yeah, okay."
Jeff is practically snuggled up beside Eric in the cab, but Eric excuses it as drunkenness and maybe a little bit due to the cold night air. He stays close to Eric's side even after they're in the house, tripping over each other's feet as they walk up the stairs. The streetlight sneaking in through the window at the end of the hall only provides a little light, and it's not enough for Eric to see Jeff's face clearly when he stops and steps away.
"So, uh. Guest room." He opens the door to their left and gestures at it even though he's not sure Jeff can see more than shadows either. "Bathroom's straight across."
Eric feels it more than sees it when Jeff steps into his space. "And your room?"
Eric clears his throat. "Um, next door down." He tries to step away but Jeff's hands are twisted in his shirt, holding him there. "Jeff..."
"Eric."
And really, Eric has no choice. He has to lean down to kiss Jeff. It's messy in the way drunken kisses always are, and Eric's a little worried about the way they're both staggering a little bit, but it's still great because it's Jeff and Eric's been wanting this longer than he'd care to admit. Still, there's reasons, perfectly valid reasons, why they shouldn't be doing this, especially with the current consent issue. Eric's not taking advantage, and he doesn't want to do anything that'll damage their friendship. The first time he tries to pull away, he lets Jeff reel him back in and enjoys it for a little bit longer, before putting space between them.
"We can't."
"Eric!" There is a whine in Jeff's voice that Eric hasn't heard before, and Eric is reminded that Jeff is seven or eight years younger than him.
"I want to. But we can't." Eric tries to smile, doesn't know how well he succeeds or if it carries in the darkness, and gives in to the urge to pull Jeff in for a kiss on the forehead. "Go to bed. We'll both still be here in the morning."
In the morning, Eric is slightly hungover, though not hungover as fuck, thanks anyway for that prediction, Jared, and Jeff doesn't look much better, so they're pretty quiet on the ride to the rink. A stop for coffee makes Eric feel decidedly less grumpy and more human, and so does the fact he's not the only one feeling like a morning-after in the locker room.
Practice goes well. They warm up and split into teams for a scrimmage. Even though they're on opposite sides, Eric can't help but be impressed when Jeff scores a goal. Actually, he's pretty sure everyone is impressed, because the fancy little jump spin thing that Jeff does to get around Tim is something.
"What the hell was that, Tinkerbell?" Cam calls out, clear irritation in his voice at being scored on.
"Figure skating!" Jeff laughs and skates away.
Eric shakes his head. He doesn't find it inexplicably charming that Jeff was a figure skater. Not at all.
At the end of their practice time, Jeff's the last one off the ice, and subsequently the last one ready to leave. Eric's waiting for him, since they rode together, and he doesn't expect the way Jeff steps into his space and moves in for a kiss.
Jeff frowns when Eric steps away from him. "What? I'm not drunk anymore. Not even feeling hungover."
"We still can't do this."
"Give me one good reason."
"The age difference."
"That's stupid. We're both adults."
"Okay, how about the fact you're my brother's friend."
"I'm your friend too."
"Yeah, and I like that. I want us to keep being friends."
"We'll still be friends. I promise I'll still like you after I've kissed you," Jeff teases.
"We can't."
Jeff crosses his arms over his chest. "You keep saying 'we can't,' but what I'm actually hearing is that you won't."
Eric pauses. "Yeah. I won't. I'm sorry, Jeff."
Jeff nods and turns away to grab his bag. "I've got a lot of studying to get done. Tell the guys I'll see them at the game?"
"Hey, wait. I'll drive you."
Jeff's already heading for the door. "No, that's okay. I can make my way back to campus."
Eric feels worse than he did when he woke up, even though he knows he's doing the right thing here. He bails on lunch with the guys, and ignores the smirks Jordan is giving him the next day. Whatever Jordan's thinking is way off base.
The week leading up to the game is not a fun one, despite the anticipation. Eric tries to text Jeff a few times but doesn't get a response. He figures it's because of finals, because Jared is ignoring him as well. He orders pizza to be delivered to Jared, making sure there's enough for his friends too because he figures Jeff is with him, but he doesn't even get a thanks for that. He almost complains to his mom about it, but they're not kids anymore, so he just bitches to Jordan.
They're cleaning the rig one afternoon and Jordan asks if Eric and Jeff broke up. Eric throws his rag at Jordan's head, and then for good measure dumps the bucket he was using on Jordan's shoes. Leave it to his brother to make him revert to childish ways. Jordan must take it as an affirmative answer though, because he and Cam are waiting to take Eric out for sympathy waffles after shift.
Jeff forwards him the forms that need to be completed in order for him to get credit for his service hours, but there's nothing personal about it. He does email to ask if Justin and Jiri can crash the celebration party. They're helping sell shirts at the game, and the guys seemed to like them when they came to practice, so it's not like Eric's going to say no, especially when it means Jeff will probably be there too. Eric doesn't make mention of Jeff's confidence that the post game party is going to be a celebration and not a consolation.
Thursday night, Eric's truck is on route to an MVA and dispatch comes across with the update of alcohol-related, college kids involved, no survivors. Eric's immediate and intense reaction is to hope it's not Jared or Jeff. He knows that Jared has an early exam tomorrow and shouldn't be out this late, and he's pretty sure neither of them would risk driving impaired or riding with someone who had been drinking, but that doesn't stop the thought from running through his mind. It's not anyone he knows, and he does his job, but he can't help but think that the body they extract from the car could be someone's little brother, someone's friend.
When he gets back to the firehouse, he doesn't even bother changing his clothes before he calls Jared. He has to call back three times before Jared picks up.
"Jesus, what?" Jared is cranky when he's woken up, but Eric's just glad to hear his voice. "I've got an exam in like three hours."
"Sorry," Eric says, though he's really not. He needed to know that Jared's okay. "I just wanted to tell you I love you."
"I love you too, asshole." Jared still sounds grumpy, but less so. It's been a while, but it's not the first time Eric has called him to touch base after a bad call. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Call me after your exam, but hang on first." Jordan's hovering, so Eric passes him the phone. When he gets it back, he flips it over in his hands, debating. He really wants to do the same thing to Jeff, call him and wake him up just to hear his voice and know that he's okay, but finally decides against it. Jeff isn't his brother; Eric's not even sure they're friends right now. He settles for sending him a text to wish him luck on his marketing final.
Game day arrives and the house is packed. Eric's pregame speech includes the bit about how no matter which team scores, the real winner is the children's charity they're supporting, but that he'd still really like to win. For all the time it took to get here, all the anticipation, the actual game is quick, over too soon. Jordan and Marc drop gloves and mix it up on the ice, but it's mostly for show. The referees are slow to break it up, and Eric's reminded of summer camp and counselors who never knew whether to interfere or not when the brothers resorted to wrestling to settle a dispute. Eric gets an assist in the first period, but gets taken out by a hard hit in the third. He's okay, though he'll hurt like hell tomorrow, but he sits out the rest of the game anyway, cheering from the bench as Sid scores in the last minute of the game to make it 3-2.
Marc makes faces at Eric and Jordan as they go through the handshake line, which is really more like a hug line but whatever, these are guys they actually work with every day, game rivalry aside. Still, Eric will definitely be bringing this up around the dinner table at Christmas, or at least be entertained by Jordan doing it.
Eric's three beers in to the post game party when he finds Jeff. Or more accurately, Jeff finds him, all concerned looking as he asks if Eric's okay.
It takes Eric a minute to figure out why he wouldn't be okay, to remember that he went down in the game, but he still smiles at Jeff. "Yeah, I'm fine. Were you worried?"
"No," Jeff answers quickly. "Just, it would suck if you were hurt. Your job is kind of important."
Eric's smile gets bigger. "You were worried. Admit it."
Jeff shrugs. "Okay, I was worried. Glad you're not hurt."
"Hey," Eric says, looking around for a place to set his beer so he has both hands free to grab onto Jeff and pull him into a hug, "come here."
Jeff shakes his head but comes willingly enough, and when Eric kisses him, it only takes a moment for him to kiss back. Eric lets himself enjoy it, even though they're on display, ignoring the catcalls from the guys closest to them and taking the time to flip them off behind Jeff's back when he breaks the kiss.
Jeff's watching him carefully, like he's trying to figure out what's going on. "I thought you didn't want to do this."
"No, I wanted to do this. Been wanting to for weeks now, but I kept telling myself I shouldn't. I was wrong."
"You're an idiot." Jeff's voice is fond, and Eric can't even be insulted by his words.
"You're both idiots," Jordan says, just appearing behind Eric as he has the habit of doing. "And this is your heads up that Cam's headed this way to talk to Jeff, so you might want to make a quick exit. I'll cover for you."
Eric may be an idiot, but he knows what the right course of action is in this situation, and it's not "stay here and be lectured by an overprotective best friend." He takes Jeff's hand and slips through the crowd toward the door, thinking Jordan really is his favorite brother.
Hockey RPF || Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal || 4944 words
AU where Eric Staal is a firefighter, Jeff Skinner is a college student, and they're working together for a charity hockey game.
A/N: A bit of nonsense written to entertain asimplechord and junebug_waltz one afternoon. Beta'd by asimplechord, all remaining mistakes are mine. Lots of handwaving when it comes to firefighting and charity hockey games (I know how they work in my hometown, but that doesn't mean much for the rest of the world). Title from the lyrics to Dashboard Confessional's Currents.
Eric's sitting in the bay area bouncing a tennis ball off the wall. Jordy kicked him out of the kitchen, claiming he was more of a danger than a help, and the guys are watching some reality show that they're really way too invested in - Eric's pretty sure he heard Cam taking bets on who was going to be eliminated. It's been a quiet shift, really quiet, but Eric isn't going to say that out loud. He's probably tempting fate by just thinking it.
He misses the next bounce and the ball goes over his head. He only hears it hit once against the concrete floor, which is weird, so he turns around to find someone standing behind him, which is even weirder.
He's a kid about Jared's age, maybe a bit younger, in a college hoodie and jeans. Eric wonders if he's about to be asked for an interview for the school paper or something.
"Captain Staal?" The kid tosses the ball back to him and steps closer, holding out a hand. "I'm Jeff Skinner."
The name sounds familiar, and Eric's reminded that he has phone messages he hasn't returned since last shift. "Yeah, hi." He reaches out to shake Jeff's hand. "Sorry I didn't get back to you."
"It's okay," Jeff says with a grin, and wow, he's got dimples that could possibly be dangerous when he really smiles. "Hope you don't mind me just dropping by. My afternoon class got cancelled and Jared said you'd be here."
Jared. Confirms the college theory then. "Sure. What can I do for you?" It sounds like a loaded question and even as it leaves his mouth, Eric is glad Cam or Jordy weren't around to hear it and contribute their unnecessary and inappropriate commentary.
Jeff doesn't pick up on it, though, just shifts on his feet and looks a little nervous. "Well, I need community service hours for school, and Jared said you might need some help with the charity hockey game? He's helping Marc."
That's news to Eric, but he's not surprised. Jared always ended up choosing Marc's side, and this way it made them even. Except not, because Eric and Jordan were by far the superior pair of brothers. "So, what, you want to earn your hours by being our towel boy?" Really, Eric doesn't even know what's coming out of his mouth right now.
Jeff shrugs. "I like hockey. And Jared says you're cool."
Eric has more questions - whether Jeff ever played, what exactly he's looking to do, if there was recorded evidence of Jared admitting his eldest brother was cool - but the alarm sounds and he barely has time to tell Jeff he'll call and work out details before he has to climb into his turnout gear.
The rest of the shift is one call after another - Eric jinxed them by thinking it, he knows better - and Eric falls into bed as soon as he gets home and sleeps away most of the day. He's making a sandwich when his phone rings, and even though it's just a wrong number, it reminds him he's supposed to call Jeff.
It sounds loud where ever Jeff is when he picks up. "Jeff, hey, it's Eric. Staal, from the firehouse. Is this a bad time?"
"Captain Staal!" Eric can hear the smile, and he's way too interested in this kid he doesn't even know. "No, you're good, hang on." There are muffled noises in the background for several seconds and then quiet. "Okay. Hi."
"You could've called me back," Eric says. "If you were busy."
"Nah, you seem to play hard to get, Captain Staal. I don't like my chances of catching you again."
"Call me Eric." And God save him from flirty kids. Eric is too old for this shit. Or, he's too old to be thinking about someone Jared's age and it's been too long since he last got laid.
"Eric," Jeff repeats amiably. "So, you think you can help me out? With my hours, I mean."
"We can find something. I don't know what exactly you're looking to do."
"Oh! Well, Jared said he's, like, helping out the day of the game, so your towel boy comment might not be far off, but I'm taking a media relations class this term, so I was thinking I might be able to help with getting the word out or sponsors or whatever?"
"Sounds good. How are you with organization?" Eric asks. "Because it would help me out a lot if you could coordinate practices."
"I can do that. I'll text you my email and you can send me a list of who's playing and when you're available and whatever."
The next week or so, they communicate regularly by text and email, and if Eric falls into the habit of smiling every time he gets a new message notification, that's his business. Well, except for the fact that he works with a bunch of nosy, smirking assholes, and neither Cam nor Jordan believes him when he says it's just because he's looking forward to the game. It's not entirely a lie; he loves hockey and loves being on the ice, and it's for a great cause. But he's also excited about the way things are falling into place. Jeff apparently has connections, or has already learned to use his looks and charm to his advantage. When he emails out the practice schedule - which is way more organized than anything Eric ever came up with - he's managed to get them great ice times. He also talks a local marketing company into donating t-shirts for them to sell at the event, and has a couple of friends who agree to be in charge of selling them at the game. There are still questions and details to be discussed, but half their exchanges end up being about Jeff's classes or Eric's calls or good-natured complaining about friends.
Eric's really surprised when he gets a text late in the night that says, what are you wearing? It's cheesy and ridiculous and Eric's pretty sure it's not meant for him anyway so he doesn't answer, even though he really wants to give Jeff a hard time about how lame he is. That doesn't stop him from thinking about it, though, even though it's not his business who Jeff is trying to use his awful lines on.
The next morning, he's got another message.
sorry, jared thinks he's funny
And that's an entirely different kind of weird, because Jared is his baby brother and probably does use lines like that because Marc, and why would he send that to Eric anyway?
he's not
yeah, sorry. don't be mad. :(
he thinks i've got a new boyfriend
Eric's not sure if he's reading that right, and doesn't quite know how to take it. and jared didn't realize he was txtng me? were you drinking?
haha, we were drinking and your number doesn't have your name
Eric wants to ask what he's saved as in Jeff's phone, and why, and whether or not Jeff's in the market for a new boyfriend, so he deliberately leaves his phone in his locker for his entire shift. Cam teases him about a lovers spat and Jordan asks if he's out of the honeymoon phase already, and he hates both of them.
They're only having six practices before the charity game, but it should be fine since it's mostly the same group of guys as always, half from Eric's firehouse and half from another, and they all play pickup games together when they can anyway. But the day before the first practice, Eric finds out that somehow Jeff has managed to arrange for lunch after each one - really, Eric's starting to think he might be magic.
Jeff doesn't come to the first practice, and the captain from the other firehouse accuses Eric of trying to hide him. Of course, he also says he'd like to steal "Eric's boy wonder" to coordinate the next charity softball game, and Eric is torn between wanting to protest the idea that Jeff is his and wanting to actually keep Jeff away from Sid. Sid's a good guy, really, and Eric likes him and his guys well enough, especially now that he stole his brother away from them, but that doesn't mean he wants to hand Jeff over to anyone.
Eric hasn't heard from Jeff much since the strange texts. They're still talking, but it feels weird now and Eric's not sure what exactly happened. So he doesn't know why Jeff's not there and shrugs it off when the guys ask about him.
Practice goes well, and he shoots off a text to Jeff after lunch. thx again for doing this, missed you at practice.
The response takes long enough that Eric thinks maybe he crossed a line or something, but finally he gets back, didnt know you wanted me at practice.
And. Well, there isn't a real reason Jeff would have to be there, but Eric isn't the only one who assumed he would be. He deserves some recognition for the work he's putting in, even if it doesn't seem like much, and just because he isn't playing in the game doesn't mean he can't practice with them. They've got a few extras who show up anyway, and it's sometimes helpful to have extra bodies on the ice.
come to the next practice, bring your skates
The next practice rolls around, and Eric is running late, so by the time he gets there, most of the team is already warming up. He thinks Jeff's missing again, and almost turns around to go back to the locker room and text him, but then he hears his laugh and realizes that Jeff's there, on the ice, shooting pucks at and trading insults with Cam. In some part of his mind, he makes note of the fact that Jeff's got good form, obviously knows what he's doing, but Eric's more focused on the way Cam's acting. Cam is pretty much a dick, he spends most of their practice time glaring at his own teammates, and while he has his good points - he's an awesome firefighter, intensely loyal, and the best damn friend Eric's ever had - making nice with new people isn't one of them.
"You're staring."
Eric doesn't jump when Jordan steps up behind him, but it's a near thing. He turns his best big brother glare on Jordan, who doesn't seem phased in the slightest.
"You don't really think Cam and I didn't know it was the kid who was sending you all those messages you were mooning over, did you?"
"I was not mooning over anything!" Eric says. "And who the hell even says 'mooning?' What kind of word is that?"
Jordan pushes past Eric and steps out onto the ice, tossing a smirk back at Eric and reiterating, "Staring!" as he skates away.
Eric takes back all the times he chose Jordan over Marc and Jared. Jordy is clearly the worst brother.
At the end of practice, Kris skates up to Jeff and says, "Are you sure you don't want to be a firefighter? We could use you on our team."
Jordan calls out, "No way! If the kid becomes a firefighter, he's ours!" And he's almost earned a spot back in Eric's favor until he adds, "Eric has dibs."
Everyone laughs as they head to the locker room, but Jeff 's at the back of the pack, watching Eric with a smirk. "You've got dibs, huh?"
"Well, I saw you before Sid and Kris," he says without thinking. "I mean... are you thinking about being a firefighter?"
Jeff makes a face. "No. But, y'know, I heard you guys play sometimes on the weekends. I'd rather be with you than them."
Eric takes a minute to figure out how to respond to that, because as always he has trouble convincing himself that Jeff's not actually meaning to flirt with him. "It's playground pick." He doesn't add, but I'd pick you first, even though that's probably true. Or, well, third, because he needs Cam as his goalie and Jordy whines if he doesn't get picked. Still, Eric's willing to admit to himself he may have a problem when it comes to Jeff.
Of course, things only get worse from there. Jeff's back to texting him on a semi-regular basis, the lead up to the charity game is running smoothly, their practices are going well, none of that is the problem. What is a problem is that Eric's not an only child and has bad taste in friends. Marc and Jared are being ridiculous about the game, drawing on a rivalry that dates all the way back to their childhood. Jordan's giving him a hard time about Jeff every chance he gets, Cam's not much better, and the rest of the guys at the firehouse seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to refer to Jeff as "Eric's boy."
The night before their last practice, Eric has plans to meet his brothers for drinks. There's a bar called Blackhawks that's pretty neutral territory for both the firefighters and the police officers, as well as the occasional college students that wander this far from campus, so that's where they're going. Marc is good at what he does, and normally Eric is proud as hell of his brother, but they've always been competitive so it's nice to have a declared night off from that. Jared tags along because it's brother bonding time, or whatever, plus he's enjoying his last night of fun before cramming for finals.
Eric wants to ask if Jeff's doing the same, but he's pretty sure it'll either make him sound creepy or it'll tip his hand and as soon as he opens his mouth, all three of his brothers will know about the stupid crush he's harboring. Jordan's speculation is bad enough.
Of course, nothing in Eric's life is ever simple, so he's feeling pleasantly buzzed and actually enjoying himself as he and Jordy are playing a game of eight ball against Marc and Jared when he sees Jeff. Jeff's all brilliant smile and rosy cheeks as he leans against the bar, flirting with one of the Patricks.
Eric pretends like he doesn't see, tries not to look to obviously in that direction even though he really wants to keep an eye on Jeff, and hopes no one else notices. Of course, this means that the next time Eric lines up a shot, Jordan says, "Oh, hey, it's Jeff!" and laughs like the jerk he is when Eric sinks the cue ball without hitting anything else.
Jared takes off across the bar and Jordan leans down so Eric can hear him but Marc can't. "Why haven't you asked him out yet? Want me to pass him a note for you?"
Eric resists smacking Jordan with his stick and settles for glaring instead, stepping back to let Marc take his turn. Marc's on a roll, pocketing his last two stripes and then the eight ball to end the game just as Jared comes back with Jeff and two others in tow.
"Hey, guys, this is Jeff, Justin, and Jiri," Jared announces, waving a hand at his friends. "And my brothers, Marc, Jordan, and Eric."
"Oh, Eric!" The one Eric thinks is Jiri is laughing and Eric's not sure why he's suddenly a joke. If Jared's going to talk shit about his brothers, he should do it equally.
The other one - Justin, Eric guesses - is laughing too. "You mean Capt--" The end of his sentence is cut off in a mumble when Jeff sticks his palm over Justin's mouth. The two of them seem to have a brief conversation without words and then Jeff moves his hand, wiping it on Justin's shirt before turning around.
"Hi." He's looking right at Eric, though he's probably addressing all of them. Eric takes in the hint of dimple in his flushed cheeks and the brightness in his eyes and wonders if he looks at everyone this way when he's been drinking.
"Hey." Eric means to at least acknowledge the other two, but he's stuck on Jeff.
Beside him, Jordan laughs even more, shaking his head. "Do you two play hockey? We could use a couple extras tomorrow for practice, trying to scrimmage."
"We're going to be hungover as fuck tomorrow, Jordy," Jared says.
"You weren't invited, traitor." Jordan points the neck of his beer bottle at Jared. "I was asking Jeff's friends, because Jeff is already on our side. And it's your turn to buy a round."
Jared grumbles but heads back to the bar, and the conversation turns to hockey in general. Jeff stands too close to Eric while they're waiting on Jared to get back, and when they move to a table, Eric ends up with Jeff pressed against him. Jeff's a happy, open, touchy-feely drunk, which doesn't surprise Eric at all, and he laughs at all of Eric's stories, even the ones he knows are stupid, but Eric figures he can have this. He's just past tipsy, but he lets himself use the alcohol as an excuse to enjoy the feeling.
When they decide to call it a night, Eric gets waylaid by Brent, one of the bar owners, on his way to the door. He figures everyone else is already gone by the time he pushes his way out into the cool air, but Jeff's standing against the wall.
"Thought you were going back to campus with Jared?"
Jeff shrugs. "Went to take a piss and they left me. Your brother's a shitty friend." The way he's smiling when he says it means he doesn't think it's true.
"Yeah, well, he's a shitty brother too," Eric says. "Want to share a cab?"
Jeff bites his lip and Eric doesn't even pretend his gaze isn't focused there. "I think I'm out of your way."
"Or," and Eric doesn't know why he's offering this, "you can just come crash at mine? We're going the same place in the morning anyway." It is such a bad idea, but it's out there now and Eric can't take it back.
"Really?" Jeff's eyes are impossibly brighter than before. "Yeah, okay."
Jeff is practically snuggled up beside Eric in the cab, but Eric excuses it as drunkenness and maybe a little bit due to the cold night air. He stays close to Eric's side even after they're in the house, tripping over each other's feet as they walk up the stairs. The streetlight sneaking in through the window at the end of the hall only provides a little light, and it's not enough for Eric to see Jeff's face clearly when he stops and steps away.
"So, uh. Guest room." He opens the door to their left and gestures at it even though he's not sure Jeff can see more than shadows either. "Bathroom's straight across."
Eric feels it more than sees it when Jeff steps into his space. "And your room?"
Eric clears his throat. "Um, next door down." He tries to step away but Jeff's hands are twisted in his shirt, holding him there. "Jeff..."
"Eric."
And really, Eric has no choice. He has to lean down to kiss Jeff. It's messy in the way drunken kisses always are, and Eric's a little worried about the way they're both staggering a little bit, but it's still great because it's Jeff and Eric's been wanting this longer than he'd care to admit. Still, there's reasons, perfectly valid reasons, why they shouldn't be doing this, especially with the current consent issue. Eric's not taking advantage, and he doesn't want to do anything that'll damage their friendship. The first time he tries to pull away, he lets Jeff reel him back in and enjoys it for a little bit longer, before putting space between them.
"We can't."
"Eric!" There is a whine in Jeff's voice that Eric hasn't heard before, and Eric is reminded that Jeff is seven or eight years younger than him.
"I want to. But we can't." Eric tries to smile, doesn't know how well he succeeds or if it carries in the darkness, and gives in to the urge to pull Jeff in for a kiss on the forehead. "Go to bed. We'll both still be here in the morning."
In the morning, Eric is slightly hungover, though not hungover as fuck, thanks anyway for that prediction, Jared, and Jeff doesn't look much better, so they're pretty quiet on the ride to the rink. A stop for coffee makes Eric feel decidedly less grumpy and more human, and so does the fact he's not the only one feeling like a morning-after in the locker room.
Practice goes well. They warm up and split into teams for a scrimmage. Even though they're on opposite sides, Eric can't help but be impressed when Jeff scores a goal. Actually, he's pretty sure everyone is impressed, because the fancy little jump spin thing that Jeff does to get around Tim is something.
"What the hell was that, Tinkerbell?" Cam calls out, clear irritation in his voice at being scored on.
"Figure skating!" Jeff laughs and skates away.
Eric shakes his head. He doesn't find it inexplicably charming that Jeff was a figure skater. Not at all.
At the end of their practice time, Jeff's the last one off the ice, and subsequently the last one ready to leave. Eric's waiting for him, since they rode together, and he doesn't expect the way Jeff steps into his space and moves in for a kiss.
Jeff frowns when Eric steps away from him. "What? I'm not drunk anymore. Not even feeling hungover."
"We still can't do this."
"Give me one good reason."
"The age difference."
"That's stupid. We're both adults."
"Okay, how about the fact you're my brother's friend."
"I'm your friend too."
"Yeah, and I like that. I want us to keep being friends."
"We'll still be friends. I promise I'll still like you after I've kissed you," Jeff teases.
"We can't."
Jeff crosses his arms over his chest. "You keep saying 'we can't,' but what I'm actually hearing is that you won't."
Eric pauses. "Yeah. I won't. I'm sorry, Jeff."
Jeff nods and turns away to grab his bag. "I've got a lot of studying to get done. Tell the guys I'll see them at the game?"
"Hey, wait. I'll drive you."
Jeff's already heading for the door. "No, that's okay. I can make my way back to campus."
Eric feels worse than he did when he woke up, even though he knows he's doing the right thing here. He bails on lunch with the guys, and ignores the smirks Jordan is giving him the next day. Whatever Jordan's thinking is way off base.
The week leading up to the game is not a fun one, despite the anticipation. Eric tries to text Jeff a few times but doesn't get a response. He figures it's because of finals, because Jared is ignoring him as well. He orders pizza to be delivered to Jared, making sure there's enough for his friends too because he figures Jeff is with him, but he doesn't even get a thanks for that. He almost complains to his mom about it, but they're not kids anymore, so he just bitches to Jordan.
They're cleaning the rig one afternoon and Jordan asks if Eric and Jeff broke up. Eric throws his rag at Jordan's head, and then for good measure dumps the bucket he was using on Jordan's shoes. Leave it to his brother to make him revert to childish ways. Jordan must take it as an affirmative answer though, because he and Cam are waiting to take Eric out for sympathy waffles after shift.
Jeff forwards him the forms that need to be completed in order for him to get credit for his service hours, but there's nothing personal about it. He does email to ask if Justin and Jiri can crash the celebration party. They're helping sell shirts at the game, and the guys seemed to like them when they came to practice, so it's not like Eric's going to say no, especially when it means Jeff will probably be there too. Eric doesn't make mention of Jeff's confidence that the post game party is going to be a celebration and not a consolation.
Thursday night, Eric's truck is on route to an MVA and dispatch comes across with the update of alcohol-related, college kids involved, no survivors. Eric's immediate and intense reaction is to hope it's not Jared or Jeff. He knows that Jared has an early exam tomorrow and shouldn't be out this late, and he's pretty sure neither of them would risk driving impaired or riding with someone who had been drinking, but that doesn't stop the thought from running through his mind. It's not anyone he knows, and he does his job, but he can't help but think that the body they extract from the car could be someone's little brother, someone's friend.
When he gets back to the firehouse, he doesn't even bother changing his clothes before he calls Jared. He has to call back three times before Jared picks up.
"Jesus, what?" Jared is cranky when he's woken up, but Eric's just glad to hear his voice. "I've got an exam in like three hours."
"Sorry," Eric says, though he's really not. He needed to know that Jared's okay. "I just wanted to tell you I love you."
"I love you too, asshole." Jared still sounds grumpy, but less so. It's been a while, but it's not the first time Eric has called him to touch base after a bad call. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Call me after your exam, but hang on first." Jordan's hovering, so Eric passes him the phone. When he gets it back, he flips it over in his hands, debating. He really wants to do the same thing to Jeff, call him and wake him up just to hear his voice and know that he's okay, but finally decides against it. Jeff isn't his brother; Eric's not even sure they're friends right now. He settles for sending him a text to wish him luck on his marketing final.
Game day arrives and the house is packed. Eric's pregame speech includes the bit about how no matter which team scores, the real winner is the children's charity they're supporting, but that he'd still really like to win. For all the time it took to get here, all the anticipation, the actual game is quick, over too soon. Jordan and Marc drop gloves and mix it up on the ice, but it's mostly for show. The referees are slow to break it up, and Eric's reminded of summer camp and counselors who never knew whether to interfere or not when the brothers resorted to wrestling to settle a dispute. Eric gets an assist in the first period, but gets taken out by a hard hit in the third. He's okay, though he'll hurt like hell tomorrow, but he sits out the rest of the game anyway, cheering from the bench as Sid scores in the last minute of the game to make it 3-2.
Marc makes faces at Eric and Jordan as they go through the handshake line, which is really more like a hug line but whatever, these are guys they actually work with every day, game rivalry aside. Still, Eric will definitely be bringing this up around the dinner table at Christmas, or at least be entertained by Jordan doing it.
Eric's three beers in to the post game party when he finds Jeff. Or more accurately, Jeff finds him, all concerned looking as he asks if Eric's okay.
It takes Eric a minute to figure out why he wouldn't be okay, to remember that he went down in the game, but he still smiles at Jeff. "Yeah, I'm fine. Were you worried?"
"No," Jeff answers quickly. "Just, it would suck if you were hurt. Your job is kind of important."
Eric's smile gets bigger. "You were worried. Admit it."
Jeff shrugs. "Okay, I was worried. Glad you're not hurt."
"Hey," Eric says, looking around for a place to set his beer so he has both hands free to grab onto Jeff and pull him into a hug, "come here."
Jeff shakes his head but comes willingly enough, and when Eric kisses him, it only takes a moment for him to kiss back. Eric lets himself enjoy it, even though they're on display, ignoring the catcalls from the guys closest to them and taking the time to flip them off behind Jeff's back when he breaks the kiss.
Jeff's watching him carefully, like he's trying to figure out what's going on. "I thought you didn't want to do this."
"No, I wanted to do this. Been wanting to for weeks now, but I kept telling myself I shouldn't. I was wrong."
"You're an idiot." Jeff's voice is fond, and Eric can't even be insulted by his words.
"You're both idiots," Jordan says, just appearing behind Eric as he has the habit of doing. "And this is your heads up that Cam's headed this way to talk to Jeff, so you might want to make a quick exit. I'll cover for you."
Eric may be an idiot, but he knows what the right course of action is in this situation, and it's not "stay here and be lectured by an overprotective best friend." He takes Jeff's hand and slips through the crowd toward the door, thinking Jordan really is his favorite brother.
